Witnessing War and Disaster from afar: How to prevent ‘remote exposure trauma’ in kids and teens.
“My students are on edge everyday”, one teacher told me this week.
“She’s weepy and wants the news on all the time, almost compulsively”, a parent commented.
"He’s zoned out, he’s blunted himself to it all”, from another parent.
The invasion of Ukraine and other global conflicts in Yemen and Somalia. The global pandemic. Global warming. Natural disasters like the current floods in Australia. These events are all adding strain on kids and teens at a time when they are already distressed and depleted.
We are compassionate beings at heart and it hurts us to witness others suffering. Psychologists have coined the term ‘remote exposure trauma’ to explain the psychological impact of witnessing trauma - war, violence, terrorism, disaster - from afar.
According to Research Professor Marie Leiner, from the Texas Tech University Health Sciences Center, indirect exposure to traumatic events through the media “affects the mental health of children, in both short- and long-term ways that differ completely from the effects in adults. Children’s vulnerability, immaturity, and developmental state change their perspective.”
Reactions you might be seeing in your students and your children include:
Hyper-vigilance: being alert all the time, not being able to switch off
Rumination: constantly thinking about the negatives
Restlessness: fidgety and trouble sleeping
A heightened stress response: little things that wouldn’t ordinarily upset them are now getting to them.
Alternately, some of your students and kids might shut down and turn inwards, what the psychologists have recognised as a hypo-arousal trauma response, akin to a system shut down.
What can you do to help diminish or prevent remote exposure trauma?
Watch for their cue
At home or at school, tune into the conversations that kids are having. Take their lead as to how much or how little they want to know. In conversations with your students and kids, provide age-appropriate details, you want to inform them without overwhelming them.
Allow time when they bring up the topic. If you can’t talk in that moment (you’re racing out the door, you have an upcoming zoom meeting, your class time has ended) then acknowledge you have heard their need to talk and let them know that you will set aside time a bit later on: “I can see you have questions, let’s plan to talk about this straight after dinner tonight”. Or, as a teacher, “let’s set aside time in the next class”.
Finally, it’s okay if you don’t have all the answers, be honest about that as it will help them see that you too are living with uncertainty. Just the mere act of the conversation itself, regardless of having all the answers, will help your students and children feel seen and safe.
Moderate the media
Research has shown that one of the key factors in remote exposure trauma is the media.
You might be tempted to turn off the news and avoid discussing global conflicts and disasters altogether because you feel it will protect your kids. However, research shows instruction is better than restriction when it comes to media and social media. For example, studies have found that when parents allow their children and teens to watch age-appropriate news and social media about COVID-19, the children report lower levels of negativity and higher ability to understand and manage their emotions compared to those whose parents restrict media/social media.
What does the instructive approach look like? For young kids, it looks like vetting the media channels and co-viewing media sites together so you can explain what they are seeing in ways they will understand. For teens, who typically have wide access, it looks like asking them what they are seeing and helping them be wise about the reliability of the information and how the knowledge makes them feel.
Feel the feels
Emotions are understandably heightened right now. My own teenage kids are very distressed and angry about the global conflicts in Ukraine, Yemen and Somalia. Closer to home, my daughter is scared for the wildlife in the Australian floods. Accepting and normalising all the emotions that your kids are showing helps them to process and release their pent-up fear and sadness.
Putting feelings into words, what psychologists call ‘affect labelling’, has decades of research showing it helps to reduce distress. It’s as if the words carry the emotions from inside to outside the body and lets them evaporate….
Facts versus feelings
At the same time as helping your kids and/or students to voice their emotions, it will also be beneficial to help them to separate the facts from their feelings. Psychology studies show that speaking about the facts helps a child’s brain to make sense of the event which reduces the rumination and confusion whirring around in the brain.
Offer hope
Scour the media (big news and social media) for positive stories about the events. Show your kids the outpouring of help and aid that is being sent to people in Queensland and New South Wales in the midst of the floods and the support offered to those affected by bush fires.
Speak to your teens about the broader geo-political reaction to Putin, the role of NATO and other countries stepping in to provide military and humanitarian support for Ukraine. Speak to them also about the Russian citizens who are protesting. Discuss how this might represent a global shift in the world. Find examples of where humanity shines in times of darkness and struggle.
Take positive action together
Positive action is often an effective way to reduce anxiety. Ask your kids if there is an action they would like to take to help. Maybe it is donating money and other sources of support to the flood appeals, maybe it is seeking out the Russian and Ukrainian children at their school or community to offer friendship, maybe it is widening this idea to being kind to an elderly neighbour. Psychology research shows that helping others is a major player in boosting our wellbeing.
For now…
There’s so much adversity occurring in our world right now. It can be a sad and scary time for our students, our kids and ourselves. We may not be able to control the things that happen in the world but we can equip our kids with strategies to help them better process and cope with trauma. Learning these strategies now helps our kids, classrooms and families be stronger for next time.